Growing Pains

For a few months now I have been experiencing what I guess you would call growing pains. Next month July 18 I will turn 55 years old. That is right the old double nickel. Where did the time go? My Daughter the youngest of 2 is 25 now going on 40, already with little baby 1 year old pretty soon. Yup, proud grandpa. My son the oldest soon the third week in January he will be moving to California. It has been a hard thing for me believing he is actually leaving, kid has been a part of my life, and business his whole 27 years, he is a huge part of the success of my business. That is what kids do though, you raise them, and then they leave, that is what kids do. I want to protect, and keep them from harms way, but that is not a reality. I have to allow him to create his own reality, and experience it fully. It doesn’t really matter if I accept it or not, it is everyone’s right to succeed , and fail, yup, growing pains. Nevertheless I am so proud of the both of them, I do know for sure they will be ok, cause I did a pretty good job. It was rough raising the both of them through teen years alone, but I did it. It has been almost a decade now since the kids lost their mother, she has been gone now almost half as long as we were married 19 years. I don’t know if I will ever return to that avenue again it was a rough marige, and I was beaten up pretty good, a little gun shy now. So I ask myself what now?I don’t know, move forward I guess. All I can do is my best, and that has to be good enough, and if is not good enough, it has to do. I do have amazing friends around me far, and near, that helps keep me going. I am a loner by nature a lone wolf. My group of friends is very small, cause I find it difficult to trust, and it takes me a while to warm up. I am also a dreamer, and that is what gives me hope. Hope is a good thing, sometimes the only thing. I am not very happy getting older, but I can accept it. Cheers!